What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
