drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
They took my balls.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
