Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
