I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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