You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
