cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
