Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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