I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
