Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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