Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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