All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Never underestimate the power of titties
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
