Texts From Last Night

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  (319): View more from Iowa

  True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes

  (847): View more from Illinois

  And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.

  (319): View more from Iowa

  At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.

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  (319): True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes (847): And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me. (319): At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements. http://tfl.nu/k3x0
  Replies (32) Good night (4366) Bad night (504)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.

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  (609): is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive. http://tfl.nu/yffe
  Replies (19) Good night (4732) Bad night (760) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?

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  (617): Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness? http://tfl.nu/575t
  Replies (18) Good night (5526) Bad night (703) Order T-Shirt
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  (650): View more from California

  you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"

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  (650): you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?" http://tfl.nu/9xhm
  Replies (4) Good night (2615) Bad night (964) Order T-Shirt
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game

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  (302): I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game http://tfl.nu/wh7c
  Replies (10) Good night (4390) Bad night (761) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!

  (1-410): View more from Maryland

  the part where you beat me to him

  (410): View more from Maryland

  fair enough.

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  (410): what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?! (1-410): the part where you beat me to him (410): fair enough. http://tfl.nu/4y3l
  Replies (18) Good night (7508) Bad night (975)
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  (925): View more from California

  Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.

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  (925): Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager. http://tfl.nu/yj7y
  Replies (8) Good night (2313) Bad night (862) Order T-Shirt
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.

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  (870): Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good. http://tfl.nu/i8bn
  Replies (3) Good night (2209) Bad night (507) Order T-Shirt
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.

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  (480): I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona. http://tfl.nu/nax7
  Replies (3) Good night (1644) Bad night (609) Order T-Shirt
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?

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  (804): I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in? http://tfl.nu/kpil
  Replies (4) Good night (498) Bad night (1256) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.

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  (818): Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college. http://tfl.nu/wt8u
  Replies (8) Good night (1213) Bad night (426) Order T-Shirt
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS

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  (219): LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS http://tfl.nu/75f7
  Replies (16) Good night (565) Bad night (2343) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.

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  (603): Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear. http://tfl.nu/x2nz
  Replies (6) Good night (1460) Bad night (361) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.

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  (617): Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good. http://tfl.nu/gr5l
  Replies (1) Good night (579) Bad night (225) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.

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  (914): So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun. http://tfl.nu/n89x
  Replies (12) Good night (513) Bad night (1086) Order T-Shirt

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