apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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