My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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