Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
