it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
