I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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