I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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