i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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