6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
