Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
