you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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