Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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