cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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