Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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