He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
