ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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