The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
