Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
i think my cat just said my name.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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