i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
