absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize