Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
