I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Randomize
