so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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