Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
