i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
