is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Just high enough for therapy.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
