Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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