the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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