No awkward lesbian experiences without me
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
