i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
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What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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