I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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