Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
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Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Alive.
So much puke
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
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my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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