the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize
