You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
no you cant smoke seaweed
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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