i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
