I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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