Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Randomize
