At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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