Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
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sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
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and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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