You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Randomize