tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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