i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
