just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
if i can run in heels then i can drive
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
