the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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