I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
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Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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