escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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