i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
