We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
