i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Randomize
