When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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