3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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