I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
