No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
