Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize